After he says all of these unforgivable things he says he did not mean it, that he loves me, and wants to be with me. I have told him time and time again I do not love him, will never be with him again, and to leave me alone. He never fails to say I will never meet anyone, I still love him, and that I will be back.
How can I keep him away for good without him feeling like he needs to retaliate because I do not want him in my life anymore?
Thank you for listening
Hello my fren,
You already know what I’m going to say. You need to file a restraining order. Like, yesterday. By no means should you assume that his threats regarding your dog, your property, and your privacy are just bluster (SERIOUSLY WHAT KIND OF MONSTER THREATENS A DOG!!!!!!!).
Take him at his word.
If recent events in the US have taught us anything, we need to start taking men that threaten women seriously.
Keep receipts. Document everything. Take screenshots of every threatening text, and every threatening email. Write down every incident. Keep everything in a folder, and keep a backup of the folder. Find out whether your state has any revenge porn laws and find out what type of punishment revenge pornographers face in your state.
Threats to your safety aside-- what he is saying about how you’ll “never meet anyone,” and how “you’ll be back,” is cruel and harmful to your overall well-being (in addition to being a completely transparent, pathetic attempt to protect his own ego), and you do not need to listen anymore. Don’t just muscle through it-- you do not deserve to emotionally abused.
Do not argue with this asshole about whether or not you deserve love.
It is a great relief that you “Dumped The Motherfucker Already,” to borrow a phrase from our father who art in Seattle, Dan Savage. But allow me to editorialize: Dump The Motherfucker Already Unfriend Unfollow Block Already.
You say, “I have tried blocking him but--” No more “buts.” Block him. You can no longer afford to be a receptive channel to his abusive rants. If you keep listening, his threats will only continue to escalate because his behavior is working. It’s getting your attention, it’s keeping you on the line.
You ask how to get him out of your life “without him feeling like he needs to retaliate.” Fuck his feelings.
Seriously, repeat after me: “Fuck! His! Feelings!”
His feelings are no longer your responsibility or your concern. The management of his volatile and dangerous emotions should be between him and the cops.
You don’t have to keep shoveling his shit.
Once you’ve filed your restraining order and done your homework, send him one final text or email that says something along the lines of, “I have documented all of your threats. I have filed a restraining order. If you post photos of my body online or come anywhere near me or my dog, you will face jail time. Do not contact me again.”
Then crickets literally forever.