(Pardon my English btw, not a native speaker)
So... I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and I was pretty happy but.. (here comes the interesting part) I went to a wedding last year I met a guy, “John.” I danced with him and instantly I felt some kind of a click and we danced all night. He lives in a different city, but I got his Snapchat username from a friend’s phone and we started talking. I didn’t tell John that I had a boyfriend.
A few months later, John and I took a trip to see each other, and I kissed him and my whole world stopped and I realized that I've never felt that before, not even with my bf. I was the happiest human being ever.
A month later, I went to visit him and spent the night at his condo and it was the best sex I ever had. I told him I had a bf, but we kept talking after I left. I realized that I was in love with him like madly and that maybe he was the one, like the love of my life.
Unfortunately, my boyfriend and I had a trip to Cancun planned. I told John that I wasn't happy anymore with mi bf and I would do my best to cancel the trip, but I didn't.
When the date came and I told John that I was going to Cancun, he told me that he won't talk to me anymore. I'm madly in love with John and I'm not I love with my boyfriend anymore but I can't leave him I don't know why!!!!!
I never ever eveeeeer cry for a man, like eveeer, but I miss him like crazy. I can't even kiss my boyfriend without thinking about him and I'm really sad and I can't handle it I've never been this sad because of a person my heart is broke into a million pieces
I don't know what to do SOS
In the iconic words of Joanne the Scammer, you are a messy bitch who lives for drama!!!!! OMG!
SOS? Here’s what you do: don’t lie!
You should have broken up with your boyfriend an eternity ago. Just floating around him and waiting for something else to happen is not ok! Not good treatment of another person! Bad job @ using your empathy muscle. He is a human! Treat him like a human! Imagine if a mans treated you like this!
It’s totally normal to have flirty ~feelings for somebody else besides your boyfriend. The feelings you had at the wedding for John were 100% normal and nothing to be ashamed of in the least. Sexy boy at a sexy event who is dancing sexy. It’s totally normal to flirt, and sometimes, shit gets messy. I get it.
But by the time you planned a trip to see one another, your relationship with the BF should have been over.
Then! you let another month go by and you made sax to mans even though you made a (presumably monogamous) commitment to a different mans!
Not cool, fren.
Also, I’m sorry, but a trip to Cancun is literally the definition of luxury and the actual opposite of an un-shirk-able responsibility. You could have cancelled at any point! Hotels are refundable!
Look at you! Poolside! Crying into your Mojito while you sip deeply from the drama straw!
Re: John and how he is the love of your life?
The good dick drive you crazy, I feel you.
I will say: when you are a messy bitch who lives for drama there is a sacred math equation and it goes like this: the good dick + the drama = an obsession with mans.
Your heart is gonna want what it's gonna want, but maybe you aren’t suffering from The Heartbreak of A Lifetime. Maybe you’re just suffering because you lost that good dick and all the drama that came with it.
You’ve made a series of Very Unfortunate Choices, but it happens sometimes. We all do dumb shit. And I want to stress here-- the dumb shit you did was not that you did sax to John. Get that good dick, girl. Get it! Let that boy ~pleasure you.
The dumb shit you did was lying.
No sex shame. Only lie shame.
What should you do now? Stop struggling through kissing your BF and break up with him! Immediately! You can tell him the whole truth, that you don’t love him anymore and you cheated. You can tell him part of the truth, but you just gotta end it. And don’t be messy about it! Cut it off for real and for good.
“I can’t leave him I don’t know why!!” is just shitty. Stop it. You are keeping him on ice as a backup plan and that’s whack. Just be single. It’s super fun.
Next, you can always try to make some kind of gesture towards rekindling the passion with John, but only after you’ve broken it off with the BF for real. There’s a good chance that John is, like yourself, a real messy bitch, also living for the drama, since he was down to do sax with you even though you had a BF. But you might just have to take your medicine and accept the fact that you crossed John’s drama threshold.
Even if it doesn’t work out with this one very sexy fool John, there’s more good dick in the world, I promise.
Next time don’t lie to it. Treat it right. Do unto mans as you would have mans do unto you.